When people ask me why I get into JCS, I mostly say that it was my parents who inspired me. This is mostly the truth, as I'm sure it was a mutual decision for my sister and I to be shown the 1973 movie. But in my mother burned an intense passion for the characters and ideas behind the show. After the movie was over, she would sing lines from Heaven on Their Minds and I would try my best to sing along. She told me about the ways that Carl Anderson inspired her: why Judas was an important character; the importance of Judas being black; why there was a difference between being evil and being misunderstood.
Nancy had always been a sort of rebel when it came to all things religious and musical. Coming from a strict Catholic background brought upon her by second generation Polish immigrants, she had been raised on "because God says so" and all the latest polka hits. In 1970, after going to public school for a few years and being exposed to the darker side of music (Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, The Who, etc...), it must have been an enlightening experience to hear the single Superstar on the radio, blatantly questioning the things she had been taught for all her existence. But it wasn't until she saw Superstar in theatres that her understanding and fascination began, thanks to Carl Anderson's portrayal of Judas and Ted Neeley's Jesus.
Inspired and liberated, she attempted to put on a local production of Superstar at her church, playing the role of Judas. Sadly, it was never performed in front of an audience.
During my own teenage years when I developed my own obsession with Superstar, she was always over my shoulder, checking to see what new material I had gathered and marveling at the wealth of information I was finding. She was astonished to learn about the 1992-1997 AD tour, which she hadn't even heard about. It must have been a great disappointment to learn that one of her biggest inspirations had simply passed her by, but the disappointment didn't last long.
In March of 2003, my mother, father and myself went to see the North American tour with Sebastian Bach and Carl Anderson. After the show, we found the stage door and waited. To see the look on my mother's face when she was telling Carl Anderson what an inspiration he had been to her was stunning. It was like a pilgrimage had been completed. Not knowing that we could have talked to him for hours, we went and talked to other cast members and waited for the rest of the group we were with to get autographs. As we went back to our car, we saw Carl putting his keys in the trunk of our car. "You can come home with us if you want!" my mother said. He turned around and realized that his car was right next to ours. It was a personal moment that neither of us thought could ever happen. Carl Anderson, a hero to both of us, had tried to put his suitcase in our car. It sounds so stupid to write or tell others, but it's something that we never forgot.
Almost a year later, Carl died. We both sat in silence, not knowing exactly what to do. He wasn't someone we had known, so were we really even allowed to "grieve?" Could we? The loss of a hero and an icon was a tricky thing to handle. It was especially difficult for Nancy, because she had just been diagnosed with bone cancer. She and I never talked about what we felt when Carl died, but I know that it hit her harder than it hit me.
She spent the last year of her life watching my obsession with JCS grow. She sat and listened to my interviews with Danny, Kurt and Brian. Danny's Gethsemane was one of her favorites and hearing me talk to him was exciting as hell.
I don't really know how to summarize the rest of this page. It's really difficult to put it in a way that's readable with a good 10 minute cry for the reader. But the end was very difficult. She died in her sleep on September 18th, 2005 at 1:00 in the morning.
A year and a month later I met Ted Neeley; and the whole time, I couldn't help but think, "Goddamn... it would be fucking awesome if mom had been here too..."
